Mother's Day!

Once again we are approaching mother's day. Every year I ponder the real meaning of the day and wonder if it deserves the weight given to it.

Let me explain myself a bit more...I used to get all caught up in the expectations of the day and so very often would be let down. Whether it would be because my husband simply forgot to say "happy mother's day", the moment his eyes opened, or if my children were being "naughty" on MY day it always seemed to get off track. Now I knew I was not the mother to my husband but it always seemed like he should take the lead on the day, plan it all out to be a glorious day. (no pressure there huh?) =) Well as you all know my husband left then mother's day feel upon my children . That was the moment everything changed NOW for me mother's day is way more about me being a mother than "them" being my children.

I became a mother at 18, again at 19, then 20 and begged to have my tubes tied. Ten years after my last daughter was born, and 12 years after getting married, we decided to have my tubes untied and at 32 I became a mother again. Maybe due to my young age, or being out numbered so quickly, I never grasped the gift of motherhood. I felt the weight of being a "bad mom" to my daughters when my son was born and I had all kinds of time, and energy, with him that I never had for them. Don't get me wrong I was excited to have my girls and whenever we went out I loved how everyone would notice them. It's not often you see a teen/young adult with three little ones. Just imagine seeing this 21 year old with a newborn, 1 and 2 year old. What a sight! My home was more of a boot came and about keeping everyone in line because it could get chaotic very quickly!

May 2001 was my first mother's day without a husband to lead the day into greatness. I dreaded the approaching day because it felt like it only made his absence greater and put undo stress on my children. I had decided to avoid the day all together. I made plans to take off to an adventure park with my young son and my teenage daughters could all have fun spending time with friends. I felt much better, the weight was gone! It was that year I came to think so differently of Mother's day!

So Mother's Day.....for me it's about my blessings of being a mom, and now grandmother (Grammie). It's not about what gets done for me or sent to me. It's about simply celebrating being a mom. I would rather be honored and respected on a daily basis than everyone performing for the day anyway. My girls are great and always send me great mother's day gifts and my son may, or may not, remember to wish me a Happy Mother's day. Mother's are wonderful! We all seem to go to them first in crises, get mad at them first too because they are the ones to tell us the painful truth. Without them where would any of us be? I know I can count on my mom for anything. She will always help, if she can, and I know she would not lead me in the wrong direction. It's great being a mom! It's been my most important job here on earth. In letting go of expectations it's easy to just enjoy the day. I'll never be the perfect mom and my children are not the perfect children but I'm theirs and their mine!